Picture courtesy of Jan Wayne Fields
Elegant table setting, a courtyard view. Something about this seems to evoke a feeling of deeply held secrets and denial. Let’s see where this idea takes me.
Word count: 100
Secrets
She’d waited as long as she could. Dinner was ruined anyway. The candles burned out long before she gave up hope. Pain pierced her core.
Coming home to the dark apartment, the table told the whole story. He’d forgotten their plans; the dinner, the celebration, their anniversary.
One drink turned into two, then three. Then home with the cute young thing with the piercings. Too late, he realized that what he’d lost was everything.
Her note said it all: “Goodbye, good riddance – I hope she was worth it.”
Mirrored in the window, his reflection felt as hollow as his soul.
© Erin Leary
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Awe, Erin.This was a perfect story for this prompt. Every line hit me to the core, but I hope she wasn’t worth it. I hope she gave him the clap! Nothing says, “Dude, you made a big mistake” like being alone with your regret and an STD. Says the woman once scorned by a jerk.
I think I’m going to make up some bumper stickers that say “Nothing says regret like an STD” I like that sentiment! 😎
Seems he was avoiding something–was it the wife or himself?
Marie Gail
Yes. I would say both. Himself, because he knows he’s not a good partner and her because she knows it, too. Thank you for reading!
The change in POV threw me, first off. (Nothing is more tiresome than people bleating ‘POV’ so I’ll say no more on that.) I sense his regret but echo Honie’s sentiments. Grinning like mad. Nice one.
I agree – it was not as smooth as I’d like.
Beautiful and telling last line – so sad, and it doesn’t matter that it’s his own fault. You still feel for him.
He is sympathetic, even though he’s at fault.
Dear Erin,
Sounds like he was thinking with the wrong brain. I couldn’t bring myself to feel sorry for him in the end. Very well done and good to see you back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
That was definitely his problem. Thank you for readin!
I can’t, somehow, manage to drum up sympathy for him, although the last line is beautifully poignant: ‘his reflection felt as hollow as his soul.’ But to me, he got his just rewards. Enjoyable read.
Thank you for reading and for your comments!
Erin, sometimes “Better late than never” doesn’t work and this is certainly one of those times. He got what he deserved. Maybe next time he’ll do better.
janet
Exactly. For him, it was too late.
Dear Erin, Wonderful story and so touching! You are such a great writer and I look forward to your submission each week. He deserves his loneliness now and forever! Good job! Nan 🙂
Thank you, Nan! Your comment made my day!!
Good story, Erin. It probably happens a lot. I bet it wasn’t the first time it happened with them. This was probably the final blow in the marriage. Now he can find out what alimony feels like.Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne