Picture courtesy of Danny Bowman
Stark, wide, forlorn. This is what you might call a blank canvas. I wonder where my story will take me?
Word count: 100
Ashes to Ashes
Sitting together on the rock, they faced the hill they’d heard about forever.
“’Tis the most beautiful place on earth, Beenoskee.”
Sheila soaked her father’s stories in as a child. Annie had less patience for his old country talk.
“Not nearly as tall as I’d imagined,” Sheila whispered, as though in church.
“He built everything up larger than life.” Annie fiddled with her hair, head down.
“He loved us, you know.”
“Yeah. He knew fuck-all about parenting, though.”
“True. But let’s do this one last favor.”
Sheila passed the bottle to Annie. Toasting their pa, they let his ashes fly.
© Erin Leary
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Nothing says “honor thy father” like passing the booze! Way to tell it like it is…was, Erin.
Thanks, Honie. It’s an Irish thing. 🙂
You have once again created a wonderful and unexpected story in 100 words. I like how three characters emerged from a humble landscape.
Way to go! 🙂 Nicely done Erin.
Thank you for reading, Sandra!
Great job creating sympathetic characters in so small a space, darling. The mixed history comes through very well.
Thank you, dear HHB. I’m happy you approve.
I love this one. One of my favorites of the week so far.
Thank you, Adam!
Hm…tell you something good. This story. This story was GOOD. I agree 100% with sethbang—you created three believable, relatable characters from a desert’ish landscape. Awesomely done!
Thank you, Hala! I appreciate your comments.
Great job. A very creative interpretation of the prompt, and I agree with other commenters on the development of your characters. Very well done!
Thanks, Jan!
Dear Erin,
This is so believable and the dialogue is spot on. Sounds a little like conversations my brother and I have had about our parents. Sometimes I wonder if we really had the same ones. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Yes – it does feel a bit like we each have our own experiences with our parents. Luckily, my dad was nothing like this guy. He made for a better story, however.
Erin, I see echoes of my life here, though my father was a good parent I had a similar conversation with my sister.
Thanks for the bitter-sweet memories this evoked.
Dee
Thanks, Dee! My dad was a good one, too, thankfully.
So good, Erin. You conveyed several POV wonderfully in your few words.
janet
Thanks, Janet!
very natural and believable !
Thank you for reading!
Cheers!
I don’t think any two siblings ever had the same set of parents. Interesting how growing up in the same family can be so different for two individuals. Nicely told.
All my best,
Marie Gail
So true! I’m sure my kids feel the same way.
Good story with very realistic dialogue. I could picture the scene. Well done.
A great take.. i think it balances on the sorrow and reality so well… rarely we have the undiluted sadness… very very real
The nuances of family life and the different perspectives of each sibling are well captured here
Lovely. Warm. True to life.
Beautifully done. A touching and believable story.
Very moving, Erin and a moving use of the prompt. The use of dialogue and movement in this, is perfectly balanced.
Thank you for reading!
Good story and dialogue! Great Job! Nan
Thank you!