Flash Friday Fiction

Play Misty for Me

Like lines in a song, the outline of the horizon was revealed as the sun rose higher. Poetry, almost – two parallel lines, trees hovering like clouds. Shaking his head, the outlines became more distinct, his vision clearing.

The night had been longer than most. This watch seemed to go on forever, the sounds of the forest around him echoing against the mist. He’d never been happier to see a sunrise.

Wiping his eyes one more time, he lowered his gun, sighting the horizon, waiting for movement. Poetry would have to wait.

The photo prompt is courtesy of Madison Woods, copyright Maggie Duncan. Madison’s story can be found here, along with links to all the other Flash Friday Fictioneers.
© Erin Leary

47 thoughts on “Flash Friday Fiction

  1. Dear Erin,

    This was a very tight and well written piece. Peaceful and beautiful yet mysteriously perilous. i wondered if the quarry was human. I wondered where we were and when and I wondered what was going to happen next, which is the hallmark of good writing. Well done.

    Thank you for stopping by my story earlier in the day. I appreciate the feedback.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. I like the comparison to lines of a song and to poetry in your first paragraph. I, too, wonder what the quarry is. My first thought was animal but waiting awake all night seems a bit excessive for that, and the word “watch” steers me away from animals, so I wonder along with Doug if the quarry is human and what the rest of the story is. Good job.

  3. Very nice Erin. Liked that you could incoporate the hills in the picture …”parallel lines”. I thougth hunter at first, but soldier is more like it. Of course he’s happy to see sunrise. Great short story.

    • Thanks, Russell, – the first lines came into my head without really thinking – I had intended it to be about a soldier, so I had to figure out how it all went together.

  4. It was beautiful, even with the tension. With the title, I thought he was waiting for someone to pounce at him at any moment, as that’s the part of the film that still makes me jump. I imagined he had been drafted too, not sure why, but I thought he sounded more nervous than a career soldier, although who wouldn’t be nervous on watch on a dark, misty night?

    Thanks for stopping by me already:
    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/the-haar-ff-240812/

  5. Really nice, Erin, reminds us how much war can take away and that soldiers are people too. Made me think of the poetry from the trenches, somehow. Thanks for stopping by mine too.

    • Yes – many times, just scared boys trying to be men. I watched a lot of news covereage when I was a kid about Vietnam and it stayed with me. Some of them were so young. Thanks for your comments!

  6. I thought of Vietnam while reading your story, but it could have been anywhere, including a fantasy realm. Nice inside glimpse of what sounds like a tension filled time of the character’s life.

  7. I, too, got a sense of a soldier on his post and the magic moment when the night is gone and day has come again. I agree this could work in many different genres. Very expressive and creates a vision of the photo without the photo being needed.

    • I like that with only 100 words, we have to leave some things up to the reader to determine. It interesting to see what they fill in with. Thanks for your comments!

  8. Yes, those crests of trees emerging above the mist do seem like lines of music. That hadn’t occured to me, and that specific idea comes to me often, with birds on powerlines for instance. I really like this. Thank you.

    • I have that same thought about birds. I almost called the trees “like notes on a stanza”, but I thought that was getting a little too specific. I appreciate your comments!

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