Water Torture
One eye opened tentatively, the sunlight blinding. Why was water dripping on her? And why was she lying in the dirt? Flexing painful extremities, it suddenly came to her. In that flash of memory, the fear returned. She closed her eyes again, seeking safety.
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Today’s post is part of Flash Friday Fictioneers. The photo prompt is courtesy of Madison Woods. Her story can be found here, along with links to all the other Flash Friday Fictioneers.
©EKLeary
Brief and stark though this may be, it opens up a whole realm of possibilities regarding the back story. Well done Erin.
Thanks, Sandra! I struggled this week, is why I was late. it went in a different direction than I wanted. 🙂
Short but full of possibilities. I could see this going in so many different directions. I like that you closed it out with the concept of what we see can’t harm us. Why is it that we all seem to have that primal thought in the back of our brain?
I added that at the last minute because it felt like what she’d do – and yes, it’s like the way toddlers play hide and seek, where closing their eyes means they can’t be seen.
Very simple and yet brililant, because I think you were able to create suspense and mystery with these few words. Thanks for the hop over.
Here is mine, anyway: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/
I want to congratulate you for writing something so convincing in so less words with such a difficult prompt. Kudos!
Parul
http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/layla/
So much and so little told in those few words. We are left with the tiniest, tantalising glimpse of something much bigger and we want to know more!
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-and-life/
I wonder…how’d she end up in that dirt?
Nice.
Nice. Though I doubt she will find safety with her eyes closed . . . Very interesting!
I feel like this is the opening hook to a much longer piece. It grabbed my interest.
Very dark. Loved it and it’s so full of possibilities. Well done.
Here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-story-2-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction
Dear Erin,
No signs of your struggle in the final product. Very well done, and short, too.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/the-endless-sea/
Hi Erin: You say so much in such a brief tale. And scary. Not sure what happened here but I don’t feel this is a safe place for her. Where are her survival instincts? Unless bones are broken, I would keep my eyes open and run for the hills. lol. Thank you for visiting me. See you next week.
You’ve given yourself lots of possibilities with this one, and left us all wondering…why is she there, and what happens next?
Good job!
Maybe if I just close my eyes it will all go away. I love that thought–too bad it doesn’t work that way. Excellent scene, painted with a minimum of words. This is perfect example of where less is more. Thanks for the nice comment on mine.
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Immediately upon seeing the prompt this week I had a feeling someone would come up with a water torture story. You pulled it off wonderfully.
This was a powerful little piece, I’m only sorry it was so short – you left us wanting so much more.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/
i think you used just the right number of words there, and the title doesn’t let one wander off in too many superfluous directions
i woke up with water dripping on me once; me and a mate of mine had gone to sleep in the back of my car with the window open…..it rained
Wow! Short, but not to Sweet. WHAT HAPPENED???
http://tedstrutz.com/2012/04/20/flash-friday-fictioneers-drip-drop-drip/
Ha! I wish I knew!
I’m glad you finally chose to go with what wanted to be written. I don’t dislike it when that happens so much as I dislike the process of figuring out that’s what’s happening. Once I know, I’ll write whatever it is, but it irritates me when I’m still beating my head against the wall of my own ideas. That was a great little story full of possibilities.
Thanks, Madison. My earlier work was trying to find beauty and what I needed to write was not that. I tried to stuff the true feelings and go with what my head thought it should be not what my gut knew it needed to be. I agree – it’s the process of accepting it that is hard. Once I did that, I wrote it in very short order.
Oooooh… I wish you’d expanded on it. You had quite a few more words to play with — I would have loved to know why/when/how she’d been tortured/gotten there.