Photo prompt courtesy of Madison Woods
The Turn
– You think you can do it?
– Yeah, I can make that turn. Can you?
– Sure, it’s easy. Why – you scared?
– Nah. You’re the baby.
– I’ll go first, since you’re such a weenie.
– Watch me nail it! Ayayayaya……
– You OK in there?
– Yeah – I missed the turn, though. Wait for m–
– I’m going. Waaaaaahh……
*Bam!*
– Oh man, you were screaming like a little girl—hey, you OK?
– No you idiot! I think I broke my effing arm.
– Uh oh. We are so busted.
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Today’s post is part of Flash Friday Fictioneers. The photo prompt is courtesy of Madison Woods. Her story can be found here, along with links to all the other Flash Friday Fictioneers.
©EKLeary
Biking? Or skateboarding? Whatever, this is a conversation as eternal as boys and their toys. Nice one, great voices.
Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/
I was thinking of skateboarding when I wrote it. the turn just begs to be tried….
Cute little dialogue piece. Good practice if you are using these characters again!
Laura
Here is mine:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
real dialogue here i could almost have heard them myself.
http://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/l-for-lifes-choices-friday-flash-fictioneers/
Skateboarders.. sheesh! This made me laugh. Nice job.
Mine is here: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/04/fridayfictioneers-nightmare-tunnel.html
I think you really captured “guy talk”…the scene was really clear…it is fun to read the interpretations…
Sharing mine: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-tz
Mom told you not to come! Hahaha! Trouble ahead. Great conversation!
Here is mine!
http://susielindau.com/2012/04/13/high-hopes-150-word-flash-fiction/
I like the dialogue. I was speaking along with it, I enjoyed it so much (so familiar!).
“You’re a weenie!”
“No, you idiot! I think I broke my effing arm!” lol. I like it.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/friday-fictioneers-halfway-bridge/
Very original take on the prompt!
Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-3/
Good dialogue. Got a glimpse of the protagonists’ personalities, plus a story arc. Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com.
I think I witnessed this once when my boys were still teenagers!!! =)
http://swthink.blogspot.com/2012/04/michael.html
Ah, us boys and our ability to break everything – including ourselves! For a story comprised entirely of dialogue (save for the *bam* moment) we get an awful lot of story here. Nice job.
Mine’s here:
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/
It just screams skateboarding! Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/
School of hard knocks, day 1, lesson 1: flashy moves, meet physics.
LOL, I could overhear that conversation. Sounds like they were on skateboards. Great story of dialogue, it was realistic.
Great dialogue here, and you certainly tell a complete story through it – nicely done.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fiction-the-tunnel/
now if you can go through there, look for three words to cut, and at the end add:
“hey, what’s that?”
sorry. that’s how i look at things. i’m not everybody, and this story isn’t mine, but i couldn’t help it.
I like that idea. It adds a new dimension of suspense.
oh, by the way, can anyone tell me what happens when you hit the button that says “press this”?
I got the skateboarding right off. I like the taunting banter. It is real I hear it every day. At the same time it is timeless.
Thanks – I’m glad you could see the skateboarding!
Loved this. You captured these kids to a “T”…even their teasing and cussing. .There’s a playground near me. I see these young daredevils skateboarding every day…falling on their “bloody arses” and “breakin’ bones.” I also hear the ambulance sirens at least twice a week, carrying them off to the ER and hoping their parents have health insurance. Tks for the good read. And tks for visiting my blog and story.
Dear Erin,
I love short pieces that are all dialogue, and you did it extremely well. When they get a little older, I can just here one of them say, “Hold my beer while I try this.”
Ah, a slice of careless childhood… Loved it!
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Wonderful dialogue. I can image these two getting into so much trouble.
Love that the whole thing is in dialogue and that we really get a sense of the plot progression. Nice work, Erin!
Great stuff, very clever to tell a story using only dialogue. Also the way in which you write it lends the boys’ speech an authenticity and gives us a good feel for their personalities. A nice sense of humour in this story too, good observational comedy 🙂