Photo prompt courtesy of Madison Woods
Sunrise at the River
– Is grandma really gone, mama?
– Yes, honey, she’s really gone.
– Do you miss her?
– I miss her every day, especially on mornings like this one.
– Are you sad?
– No, sweetie, not really sad. Just a little lost is all. I feel a little like that leaf there on the river, floating along, not real sure where I’m headed. But I’m moving. I’m getting on with things.
– You sound sad.
– I guess I am, a little.
– I’d miss you if you were gone.
– That’s enough for me, hon. That’s enough.
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Today’s post is part of Flash Friday Fictioneers. The photo prompt is courtesy of Madison Woods. Her story can be found here, along with links to all the other Flash Friday Fictioneers.
©EKLeary
Convincingly heartbreaking dialogue. Really well done (reaches for tissues).
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/reaching-a-conclusion-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/
As I said to Gary above, next week’s will be upbeat. That is my mission!
I love stories that are all dialogue! This was wonderful, thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Good use of dialogue, helped/shape define the story’s two characters. Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com.
A melancholy-yet-sweet story of innocence and loss, with a real sense of realism in there. Well done!
Mine is this-a-way:
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/fridayfictioneers-catfishing/
Thanks, Gary. I think for next Friday I am going to work on something upbeat. 🙂
well done Erin! the heart wrenching dialogue told the whole story. it is simply true and honest.
Thanks, Jeannie. I wrote a poem for my mom that has a similar feel. The picture made me think of that, then this dialogue was in my head. Funny how it all flows sometimes.
yes it is, and I find those times to be the best writing we do 🙂
Lovely, evoked memories and thoughts for me. Now to clear the tears so I can read the others. Well done!
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
This was a well written, conversation illustrating a mother trying to explain death to a young child. Very realistic…and poignant. Thank you for sharing.
~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)
Nicely done. The dialogue is perfect!
here is my attempt http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=264
This dialogue is amazing. And the insight into a woman grieving her mother’s death is so beautiful and heart breaking. Really well done.
Mine is here: http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/flash-fiction-20-cold-night/
This is very sad, but also very good. Excellent work!
My attempt: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/gone/
What a beautiful little story, like listening in on a very private and poignant conversation. I loved it.
–Jan
https://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/the-meeting-place-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction-100words/#comment-1807
I found the dialog very realistic and gentle, just like the river at dawn.
Absolutely authentic!! Wonderful
Thank you!!
That’s all that matters for now…I love the thread of continuiety you produce here
https://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/f-is-for-flash-fiction/
Thanks! I’m heading to yours now to read.
You write dialogue superbly and use that talent here to very touching effect. On a personal level, this felt very relatable, having experienced a similar loss to that portrayed in your story. You encapsulate so much in so few words. Well done.
Here’s my story:
http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/the-lasting-kind/
Very nicely done Erin. I thought the discussion between mother and child sounded very realistic and it told a story without ever breaking into prose. Loved it.
Thanks – it comes from the heart. That makes it easy to write.